Tag Archives: humility

How to find your “T Spot”—Building Your Business By Building Trust

My 20 year old daughter has already told me she will be mortified if I use a vaguely suggestive title to draw people to this post. The bottom line is that we are all in the marketing business, and I write to reach the broadest section of AR Nation that I can, so, perhaps,  prudes need not read further.

Of course the “T Spot” refers to engendering trust from those you work for, and with. Once trust is established, everything gets easier. In Massachusetts, where I practice real estate law, attorneys are responsible for the mortgage loan closing. The typical Borrower comes into my office ready to distrust, and dislike, me and my firm. There is no question that we are only involved to take advantage of them in some way or other.

To combat this generalized notion, I try to prepare for the closing. I look at the Form 1003 to see if there is some common ground between me and the Borrower. “Oh, you are a nurse; you know, my sister-in-law is a nurse”. “Oh, you have kids in college; so do I. Can you believe how much college costs?” I need some door opener to convince the Borrower that I have the same kinds of hopes, dreams and concerns that they have. I need to make myself into a human, not a robot who is going to make it difficult for them to own their new home.

It is hard to say when the moment of trust will occur. Sometimes, I can go deep into the closing before I feel the pendulum swing, and the Borrower starts to loosen up and enjoy the process. Sometimes, it never happens, and I can chalk one up to experience.

The point of this post is to articulate how important it is for all of us to gain our client’s or customer’s trust. We do this by being friendly and congenial. We do this by working at our trade, so we really do have most of the answers. We also do this by having enough humility to tell the customer that we don’t know the answer but we will try to find it and get back.

Confidence and Humility–Get the blend right and the world will beat a path to your door

In Massachusetts, where I practice, we have been very fortunate in having excellent professional sports teams, with enlightened management. Only the Bruins, our representative in the National Hockey League, has not won a championship in the 21st century. The Patriots have won three times, and the Red Sox twice.

Still, there are times of frustration for New Englanders as fans, and last night’s Patriot’s 34-35 loss to Indianapolis surely ranks as one of the most difficult pills for me to swallow as a sports fan. What made it worse for me was the rather blase manner in which Bill Belichick tossed off a bad decision late in the game, and never just said “I made a mistake”.

That smug attitude in defeat got me to thinking about what I would have done in a similar situation. I have been practicing real estate law in Mssachuseets for more than forty years, and I have made many mistakes along the way. There was a time when I would make excuses for my mistakes, or, worse yet, blame others for problems I created myself.

Just about the time I started getting things done on time rather than making excuses why I had not, I realized that most clients would accept an honest apology, especially when it is coupled with an action plan to fix the problem. In fact, i have had some of my best triumphs after I started out in the worst of positions.

Americans are great “forgivers”. They are ready to give people a second chance almost all the time. Keep that in mind when you are practicing your profession. Lying, or making lame excuses, is not the course of action for a person of integrity. Admit what you did wrong, and try to fix it. If you demonstrate humility now and again, you will endear yourself to those people who sought you out because of your confidence and talent.

There is a balance there, and we should seek it every day. Coach Belichick should have just said he made a mistake. We all do, and with his track record, he is entitled to a few. So are all of us.