My dad, Emmett D. Topkins,passed away on November 26, 1964, when I was 21 years of age. For the relatively short time which I was able to interact with my dad, we had a wonderful relationship. We played a lot of golf together, worked on crossword puzzles and camped out with other friends and their fathers. The only real objection I ever had to my dad was his constant use of “catch-phrases” to describe almost any situation. He was, after all, a small town country lawyer, and I thought some of these “saws” if you will, were corny and lacking meaning.

It is now almost fifty years after his death, and the irony of my life is I use these expressions all the time, and what is worse, so do my three sons and my daugter. I have three grandchlldren to date, and I have this sinking feeling that like iot or not, they will carry on the “emmettisms” for themselves and their children.

So, since I use these statements all the time, I thought I would share a few to see if I can get my readers “hooked” as badly as I and my family are. Perhaps, you have others, and you can share them with me in your comments.

     1. I Never got in trouble for something I didn’t say.

This one is self-evident but it is amazing how much truth there is here. Real estate professionals all have a tendency to “over-sell”.  The price of comparable homes is sometimes exaggerated; statements are made that there was “never” any water in the basement when there is no certainty of that fact; other bidders are described when we are trying to motivate our Buyer to increase his offer. It is part of our culture. How many times these kinds of statements come back to haunt us is difficult to compute. In almost all cases, we truly wish we had said nothing.

     2. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to have a good memory.

As I get older, my memory is not what it used to be. I have learned to rely on the truth as my sole salvation. I do not need to worry what I may have said to this person or that person. I tell them all the same thing–the truth. This simple necessary commitment has lowered my stress level and greatly enhanced my reputation. I just do not lie under any circumstances.

     3. You can’t make a dog walk down two streets at the same time.

This one is a great “catch-all” when you are dealing with a client who cannot make up his or her mind. No need to explain what you are saying. You just say it and move on. If you are lucky, the other person will grasp your meaning, and that will move the person to make a decision.

     4. A Pint’s a Pound the World Round.

This one may go over a few people’s heads, but the gist of the statement is that there are some ultimate truths out there which you cannot escape. Sometimes, I use this phrase just to confuse people and get them away from the subject they are discussing which is taking the negotiations nowhere.

     5. Don’t make an enemy for free.

I like this one and I use it often. It really means that if you have nothing really to gain either financially or otherwise, hold off on berating or belittling the other person. It is really an offshoot of “I never got in trouble for something I didn’t say”. Find other ways to assuage your ego. Don’t castigate or embarrass others for the sake of showing how superior you are. The real estate community in Boston, and I am sure other places as well, is very small. That person you showed up today is somebody you may need to deal with tomorrow, and you are better off letting that person survive without some long-lasting antipathy towards you.

There are other phrases which fit into the category. You probably use them on a regular basis without even realizing it I guess my continuing my dad’s wisdom, such as it is, is a way to pay tribute to a person I loved, and lost too soon. The fact that is appears that these phrases will continue with my dad’s grandchildren and great grandchildren is perhaps the way he, and all of us, are immortal.