In his “Your Money” segment in the New York TIMES (Saturday, October 24, 2009 edition) Ron Lieber discussed “Four Talks About Money to Have Before Marriage”. His point was that a couple’s ancestry, credit, control and affluence have an impact on the future success of their marriage. The more their prior experiences in these areas deviate, the better chance there is that they will not be a successful married couple, and will eventually split up and divorce.

My belief is that “talks” are not enough. I have seen marriages crack at the seems when one spouse finds out that the other has $60,000 of credit card debt, which the newly married person is assuming to pay, one way or another. Perhaps, if that spouse had known about the debts, he or she would have said, “you know, before we try to buy a home, we should get these old debts paid”. Perhaps, her or she would have taken even a tougher approach. “let’s not marry until we are on a strong financial footing, and you have addressed this problem.

Indirectly, or directly, the financial problems of a married couple affect our industry. If discovery of hidden financial problems shows up when the couple is trying to get a mortgage, the deal may not go through. On the other hand, it may go through, but only with the use of one spouse’s credit score, and this type of leverage can lead to lasting resentments on a going forward basis. There are myriad circumstances where newly discovered financial problems are the cause of a couple’s falling behind on their mortgage, and eventually facing foreclosure.

My solution to this problem is straightforward. Do not permit a couple to marry until each spouse has submitted a current financial statement, which is sworn to under the pains and penalties of perjury. If there is fraud in this document, the innocent spouse should be able to get out of the marriage and not be required to pay alimony. The non-offending spouse should be able to keep what he or she brought into the marriage, no questions asked. There should be a three year period where this situation obtains. After that, both spouses will, or should, know what their financial situation truly is.